How To Sparkle!

How to Sparkle

• Step 1. Fig­ure out what you love
• Step 2. Engage in that often.

Alter­nate

• Step 1. Fig­ure out how to love what you are already doing.
• Step 2. Engage in that often.

Alter­nate

• Step 1. Play, often.

Sparkle comes from enjoy­ment.  From plea­sure. From love.  All res­onat­ing and danc­ing inside of you.  You have to cre­ate the time. The space.  The energy to rec­og­nize what feels good.  That may seem easy to the folks who are already are in touch with their nat­ural enthu­si­asm.  For oth­ers, it’s stretch.  But one that is worth it.

Make it a game.  Begin by spend­ing 10 min­utes a day just notic­ing, what feels good, what feels crappy.  Notice why some­thing feels bet­ter than oth­ers.  Some­times the crappy thing only feels that way because of a story we are telling our­selves.  Other times, it’s because it just kind of stinks.  The act of pay­ing atten­tion will allow your sparkle to unveil itself to you.

Some­times we can tweak the story.  Work doesn’t have to be a mad­den­ing grind.  It can be a means to an amaz­ing end. It can be a chance to be of ser­vice.  Maybe it’s were you pre­tend to be a super secret agent sav­ing the world from your co-workers.

Some­times it’s time to change your story all together. To clear out the yuck and embrace the deli­cious yum.  You can let go of what no longer serves you and cre­ate a more delight in your life.  Maybe that means rad­i­cal changes…but more often then not, it is time to incor­po­rate a lit­tle some­thing, some­thing here and there.  Look at what lights you up. And begin to do that. More and more and more.

Source: Big Sparkly Life Blog

Possessive Fear In Relationships

By J Krishnamurti

For most of us, relationship with another is based on dependence, either economic or psychological. Dependence creates fear, possessiveness, friction, suspicion and frustration. Economic dependence on another can perhaps be eliminated through legislation and proper organisation, but i am referring especially to that psychological dependence on another, which is the outcome of craving for personal satisfaction, happiness, and so on. One feels, in this possessive relationship, enriched, creative and active; one feels one’s own little flame of being is increased by another.

In order not to lose this source of completeness, one fears the loss of the other, and so possessive fears come into being with all their resulting problems. Thus in this relationship of psychological dependence, there must always be conscious or unconscious fear, suspicion, that often lies hidden in pleasant-sounding words. The reaction of this fear leads one ever to search for security and enrichment through various channels, or to isolate oneself in ideas and ideals, or to seek substitutes for satisfaction.

Though one is dependent on another, there is yet the desire to be inviolate, to be whole. The complex problem in relationship is how to love without dependence, without friction and conflict; how to overcome the desire to isolate oneself, to withdraw from the cause of conflict. If we depend for our happiness on another, on society or on environment, they become essential to us; we cling to them, and any alteration of these we violently oppose because we depend upon them for our psychological security and comfort.

Though intellectually we may perceive that life is a continual process of flux, of mutation necessitating constant change, emotionally or sentimentally we cling to established and comforting values; hence there is a constant battle between change and the desire for permanency. Is it possible to put an end to this conflict?

Life cannot be without relationship, but we have made it so agonising and hideous by basing it on personal and possessive love. Can one love and yet not possess? You will find the true answer not in escape, ideals and beliefs but through the understanding of the causes of depe

In relationship, the primary cause of friction is oneself, the self that is the centre of unified craving. If we can but realise that it is not how another acts that is of primary importance, but how each one of us acts and reacts, and that if that reaction and action can be fundamentally, deeply understood, then relationship will undergo a deep and radical change…In this relationship with another, there is not only the physical problem but also that of thought and feeling on all levels, and one can be harmonious with another only when one is harmonious integrally in oneself…

Relationship is a process of self-revelation in which one discovers the hidden causes of sorrow. This self-revelation is only possible in relationship.

Source: TOI, Speaking Tree

Possessive Fear In Relationships

By J Krishnamurti

For most of us, relationship with another is based on dependence, either economic or psychological. Dependence creates fear, possessiveness, friction, suspicion and frustration. Economic dependence on another can perhaps be eliminated through legislation and proper organisation, but i am referring especially to that psychological dependence on another, which is the outcome of craving for personal satisfaction, happiness, and so on. One feels, in this possessive relationship, enriched, creative and active; one feels one’s own little flame of being is increased by another.

In order not to lose this source of completeness, one fears the loss of the other, and so possessive fears come into being with all their resulting problems. Thus in this relationship of psychological dependence, there must always be conscious or unconscious fear, suspicion, that often lies hidden in pleasant-sounding words. The reaction of this fear leads one ever to search for security and enrichment through various channels, or to isolate oneself in ideas and ideals, or to seek substitutes for satisfaction.

Though one is dependent on another, there is yet the desire to be inviolate, to be whole. The complex problem in relationship is how to love without dependence, without friction and conflict; how to overcome the desire to isolate oneself, to withdraw from the cause of conflict. If we depend for our happiness on another, on society or on environment, they become essential to us; we cling to them, and any alteration of these we violently oppose because we depend upon them for our psychological security and comfort.

Though intellectually we may perceive that life is a continual process of flux, of mutation necessitating constant change, emotionally or sentimentally we cling to established and comforting values; hence there is a constant battle between change and the desire for permanency. Is it possible to put an end to this conflict?

Life cannot be without relationship, but we have made it so agonising and hideous by basing it on personal and possessive love. Can one love and yet not possess? You will find the true answer not in escape, ideals and beliefs but through the understanding of the causes of depe

In relationship, the primary cause of friction is oneself, the self that is the centre of unified craving. If we can but realise that it is not how another acts that is of primary importance, but how each one of us acts and reacts, and that if that reaction and action can be fundamentally, deeply understood, then relationship will undergo a deep and radical change…In this relationship with another, there is not only the physical problem but also that of thought and feeling on all levels, and one can be harmonious with another only when one is harmonious integrally in oneself…

Relationship is a process of self-revelation in which one discovers the hidden causes of sorrow. This self-revelation is only possible in relationship.

 

Source: TOI, Speaking Tree

What Lies Beneath The Mask

By Jaya Row..TOI 21st Feb, 2012

Children enjoy playing with masks. And the more grotesque the mask, the greater is the thrill. Their amusement springs from knowing that the masks are different from them. They are immune to aberrations of masks.
The word ‘personality’ comes from the Latin ‘persona’ which means mask. You are an amalgam of matter and spirit. Body, mind and intellect are matter. That which breathes life into the inert matter is spirit, the real You. Layers of matter make up the mask.
Ignorant of your true nature, you wrongly attribute limitations of body, mind and intellect to yourself and so you suffer. Matter is susceptible to external influences. But you are spirit. Nothing in the world has power to affect you. Yet, you are weak and powerless, at the mercy of your environment.

The Gita asks you to awaken to your own glory. The mask of body, mind and intellect is provided so that you enjoy the playground of the world. Instead, you’ve made it the source of stress and distress, anguish and agony.
Once you understand the difference between matter and spirit, you are empowered, happy and unaffected by fluctuations in the world. Krishna epitomises this state. Masked, he was endearing, charming, charismatic, adored by all, as the gopis adored him despite his mischievous ways. They couldn’t stay angry with him for long. Divested of the mask, however, Krishna was awesome.
Know the distinction between the mask and the real you. Then distortions in body, mind and intellect will only entertain you. You won’t agonise over them. Your interface with the world will be perfect, evoking laurels and accolades. You will be full of grace, happiness and power. And when the time comes, the spirit will inspire you to discard the mask.
The Gita’s Chapter 13 begins with Arjuna asking Krishna, “What is the difference between matter and spirit, field and knower of the field, knowledge and that which is to be known?”
Krishna, “The body is the ksetra, field. Know me as the ksetrajna, knower-of-field in all fields.’’ He divides field (matter), into 31 segments. The spirit is different from them.
Verses 8 to 12 describe knowledge as the 20 qualities of a jnani, person of knowledge. He says, “This is knowledge. All else is ignorance. While spirit is one, matter undergoes changes and is born in good or bad circumstances according to gunas or qualities.’’
Spirit expresses itself differently in different people. In the wrong-doer it is mere witness. As you get purified, spirit becomes approver; it becomes protector and fulfils your endeavours. You become more unselfish. Spirit enables you to enjoy the world and wield power. In the end when all obstacles are removed, the spirit reveals itself as the supreme Self. Krishna assures that once you know Purusa and prakrti and the qualities, you are not born again, for you become spirit.
Gain moksha, liberation by divesting desires through action. Subtler desires are sublimated through knowledge and the last traces overcome by meditation. The ignorant, incapable of this path, can still evolve and go beyond death by surrender to the wise. You become spirit when you see the one unifying force in everything.
Spirit neither acts nor is tainted by actions; it is untouched like space and lights up creation as the sun illumines the world. To perceive the difference between spirit and matter, perceive with jnana caksu, eye-of-wisdom.

7 Amazing Thoughts..So true

Mystical Power Of Magnetism

By Swami Kriyananda

Many strange and unexpected events in our lives cannot be reasonably explained; neither can they be dismissed as coincidences. One of these puzzles is the mystery of discipleship. But it has been said: “When the disciple is ready, the guru appears.”

We need not search the world for our guru. Nor need the guru necessarily be consciously seeking a disciple. But if the seeker calls deeply for help, that meeting will occur, at the right time.

There was a disciple of my paramguru, Sri Yukteswar, who, though sincere in his commitment to his vow of celibacy, could not rid his mind of the desire for a perfect mate. One day, his guru said, “Today God is going to do something for you.”

They went on a short train journey. While their train was stopping briefly at a station, another train pulled in beside them. As that train came to a halt, Sri Yukteswar said, “Look in the window of that train next to us.”

The young man looked and saw a beautiful woman whose appearance satisfied every longing he had ever felt for feminine perfection. He never saw the woman again, yet from that point his longing for a partner was gone forever.

What is the secret behind the incredible seeming occurrences in our lives? There is one all-uniting word for it: magnetism. We sometimes meet others with whom we feel an instant bond of affection. Are these meetings merely accidents? By no means! Those whom we love in this life have been dear to us in other lives. Yogananda said that this is true also of those whom we hate. Love and hatred: both form subtle “magnets”. He said, “Sometimes you see whole families that live in a turmoil of constant bickering. Their members are enemies from before, drawn together for the purpose of fighting it out, this time, at close quarters!”
For success in every field, including the spiritual, Paramhansa Yogananda said, far more is needed than steadfast effort. Success depends finally on the power of magnetism one develops. The right, magnetic attitude can accomplish more than hard work. How do we generate magnetism? By the strength and quality of the energy we project. The amount of energy depends on the strength of our willpower. “The greater the will,” Yogananda said, “the greater the flow of energy.”
Success in every area of our lives depends on the strength of our magnetism to attract it. We can even attract the right knowledge. Students in future will be taught that the facts one needs can be attracted by the right, magnetic expectation. Intuition – the magnetic power of calm, inner feeling – can uide us to the right answers far more unerringly than the piecemeal efforts of the rational intellect.

How often we weaken our abilities by our low expectations! Athletes tried for many years to run the four-minute mile. But once Roger Bannister did it, and the accomplishment became widely accepted as a possibility, more runners began to break the barrier. Our possibilities are limited only by our narrow mental horizons, drawn tightly around us by our timid expectations.

“God chooses those,” Yogananda taught us, “who choose Him.” – From the writer’s biography of Yogananda, on the occasion of Yogananda’s birth anniversary today.

(Courtsey TOI)

Stop Being Bored With Life

By : Swami Sukhabodhananda

What is life, Swamiji? It just drags on…
You are bored because you have neither interest nor enthusiasm. How to get out of this quicksand called boredom?
Executives in large corporations are given periodical increments or promotions to encourage and motivate them; they provide them with power and opportunity to take important decisions. Most importantly, they make them feel indispensable. At home or office, we become indifferent only when our sense of importance diminishes. If others get more attention, we feel jealous and this builds up the attitude of apathy and lethargy.

‘This manager is very annoying!’ – this is at the office. ‘The bus never arrives on time!’ – this is at the bus stop. ‘Every time i see your face before going out, nothing turns out right for me!’ – this is at home.

It is not the bad manager, late buses or someone at home that makes us feel depressed; it is our attitude that causes depression. Throw out such words from your vocabulary. You could do this through autosuggestion.

‘Hey, Shankar! You have everything, my boy! You can get this job done better than anyone else!’ – once we address ourselves like this, fresh energy will begin to flow in our minds and bodies. With enthusiasm, the positive energy we exude would make those around us also enthusiastic. This is a scientifically proven fact.
When we say ‘i’, there are three factors involved: body, mind, and waves or vibrations that emanate from the body.

When we speak of great leaders, we say that there is a brightness or aura around them. This aura is from the light waves that emerge from the body of a person.
In a Zen story, there was a sage who had realised the truth about himself and the world around him. Every day he would sit in front of the ocean and meditate. During those moments, seagulls would fly fearlessly around him and play. At times, these birds would even sit on his shoulders.
One day, as usual, the sage went to the seashore to meditate. A little boy who came to play on the seaside came up to him and said, ‘‘These birds play so freely near you. Won’t you catch one and give it to me?’’
The sage agreed, as it was a small request. The next day when he meditated on the seashore, the seagulls flew well above his head; not one bird came near him! The birds could sense his intention from the energy waves he exuded. Your energy field will also touch people. So create good vibrations around you.
One prominent industrialist i know had provided his family with all the material comforts and almost limitless money. However, every time i visited their home, the wife used to complain: ‘‘He has no time for us! He does not even ask the children about their studies…’’ All the family wanted was that he should spend some time with them; this was what would give them satisfaction.

No matter how enthusiastic we are and however well we motivate our colleagues, even a small failure could plunge us into the abyss of depression. At such times, view failure as merely postponed success…that is all! There is nothing in it to make us depressed. Treat failure as fertiliser for success.

Treat each experience as unique; then your being starts relaxing. Then you will no longer think of life as an emotional dungeon.

The Value Of Uncertainty

by Marguerite Theophil

More than ever before, we face a rising tide of uncertainty about the future – about our personal lives and the purpose and meaning of our religious, political, financial and social institutions. Several solid and assuring certainties of times past seem to be melting, and we live in what philosopher Zygmunt Bauman poetically refers to as “liquid times”.
We become strikingly aware that life’s lessons are to be learnt on a daily basis. And one of the greatest teachers is uncertainty.

“Are you sure?” is something we hear again and again as we are growing up, and so we come to believe we always ought to be certain. However, there is often real value in uncertainty.
Let’s start with when assumptions masked as certainty block us from seeing other perspectives, or from learning new things. There are moments when it definitely helps to be certain – or as certain as one possibly can be – but let’s also give uncertainty a chance.

Uncertainty invites us to slow down in order to understand, to see better, to live better. In ‘Letters to a Young Poet’, Rainer Maria Rilke holds up questions as the representations of uncertainty and invites us to be patient towards all that is unsolved in our hearts. “Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given to you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will find them gradually, without noticing it, and live along some distant day into the answer.”

We so badly want things in life to be predictable; we want all our choices to be good ones. But we also claim we long for transformation.
Certainty and comfort are hardly conducive to transformation.
A key phase of transformation is the stage of confusion, discomfort and uncertainty, when time seems to pass at a different pace and when the space around us seems unfamiliar. We live for a while in that nowhere land, somewhere between ‘no longer’ and ‘not yet’. But without that unsettling period, where most of our learning and growth actually happens, we do not come through to the other side changed and better equipped for what life has to offer.
The one certainty is that life is uncertain. We often live as though nothing will change, but it does. The continuous battle between wanting things to stay the same and finding that nothing stays the same creates tension in us. We choose to respond either with fear or helplessness, or with eager acceptance of what lies ahead.
The fear we have of moving forward, trying something new, and changing direction is often actually an unwillingness to handle uncertainty. The danger is in getting stuck in it, wallowing in the ‘confusion’ phase too long, by not seeing it for the opportunity it offers for spiritual growth. The gift that uncertainty offers is its ability to move us on.
A helpful practice to develop comfort with uncertainty is found in repeating Thich Naht Hanh’s simple gatha, “Present moment, wonderful moment.” It encapsulates the Buddha’s teaching that life is available only in the present moment, and helps us understand that whatever lies ahead might well be a series of wonderful moments.

Nurture An Innovative Outlook

By Swami Sukhbodhanand, As seen in TOI-Fri 10 June, 2011

To creatively handle innovation is a part of wise living. To know and not to act on what you know is equal to not knowing. One has to see this clearly that, ‘if you continue doing what you have done you will get what you have got’. Hence, there is a need for innovation in all walks of life.
Our weakness can become our strength. This is true innovation. One has to focus on innovation in different fields like organisation, self, creation of wealth and wellness. All this should result in ‘end-user innovation’ of being happy, being valued and feeling a sense of belonging.
The organisational research and knowledge management wing should have methods to arrive at and check whether mission and vision statements have just become a jargon-…that is, remaining as sheer intellectual concepts. If it is so, then the very purpose would be lost.
For example, tooth pain is not a concept but an actuality for a person who is undergoing pain. Similarly, jargons like ‘cans create success and can’ts create failure’ should be reduced to actuality and not left to be an intellectual concept. It is possible if one persists in one’s efforts by seeking answers to powerful, related questions.
Organisational strategy should constantly be alive in all and it should be a working model rather than a concept model. Constantly polishing one’s strategy to enhance process, knowledge management and overcome obstacles in execution should be a dynamic process. The mode is one of alertness, as part of organisational innovation. How to keep this alertness alive is an important factor.
Organisational team spirit should always be on a high note so that strength emanates from the team rather than an individual. The health of the organisation should be teambased. One should not be focussed on immediate benefits of strength based on an individual but strength based on the team that is beneficial for organisational health. Enthusiasm is the mother of creativity; it should be kept alive and not get bogged down by competition.

Self-innovation includes one’s attitude, values and beliefs. Attitude is enhanced when the ‘state of being’ is enhanced. To enhance your state of being, your body energy and emotional energy should be high. Changing these two states of energy enhances attitude.

The quality of one’s life is the quality of one’s consistent emotion. Meditation helps one to enhance right and powerful emotions. Emotion is nothing but energy in motion. You get what you focus on. Get inspired by successful role models. Keep these winning strategies dear to your heart.
Innovation of thought is when you turn negative thoughts to positive. For example, thought that comes from deep hurt creates its own dysfunctional groove. Making thought free of inner hurt prevents loss of energy. There is no freedom in seeing since the seeing is bound by the seer. The seer sees and thus pollutes the seeing. A thought which is not free loses power of innovation. So to see without the pollution of the seer is a great part of spiritual innovation. Innovation in creating wealth and wellness involves doing the right things without worrying unduly about the results.

All for a reason, a season or a lifetime

We often lash out in negativity when relationships end, not valuing what the relationship brought into our lives. We hold a grudge that it didn’t last forever. I read this wonderful poem, by Brian Andrew Chalker, about people coming into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime and wanted to share it with you. It will help you interpret and deal with all relationships, current or old. When someone is in your life for a reason, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty; to provide you with guidance and support; to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend, and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes, they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realise is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and now, it is time to move on. Some people come into your life for a season, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it. It is real. But only for a season! Lifetime relationships teach you lifetime lessons; things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person, and put what you have learnt to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but then, friendship is clairvoyant.

 

As seen in TOI under “The Heart Chakra” corner by Puja Bedi.